So, the easy answer to this would be ‘NO‘, an outright ‘no’ and I wish I could say that but I don’t think that this is true…
I say this because I’m sure there is NO ONE (myself included lol)
- Who doesn’t care about anything
- Who is completely indifferent to everything
- Who doesn’t care about anyone
The issue is that a lot of us care about things that aren’t actually that important and that don’t matter. The things we have no control over and have no power to change… the opinions of other people, what other people think of us, whether or not someone else likes us.
Disclaimer: I still really care about all of this so I am most definitely not preaching …
‘In life, our fucks must be spent on something. There really is no such thing as not giving a fuck. The question is simply how we each choose to allot our fucks. You only get a limited number of fucks to give over your lifetime, so you must spend them with care. As my father used to say, “Fucks don’t grow on trees, Mark.” OK, he never actually said that. But fuck it, pretend like he did. The point is that fucks have to be earned and then invested wisely.’Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck
So, allocate your care away from:
- What other people think about you
- Whether or not other people like you
- Whether or not other people approve of your decisions
- The things you can’t control and can’t change
- The expectations of others
- The opinions of others – especially those who don’t know what they’re talking about
- Celebrity gossip
- The latest trends
I think my reason for writing this post is because, recently, I have started realising that a lot of my behaviour is based off what I believe will please other people rather than off what I actually want or what I genuinely believe in. And, I do this purely because I am scared about upsetting or hurting anyone else, or of anyone disliking me when, really, I have absolutely no control over that. I want to feel as though I am true to myself. I want to be honest and I want to care about the issues that mean most to me. I shouldn’t feel the need to answer or explain or justify myself to anyone.
- You are not inferior to anyone
- You are not less than anyone
- It’s not your responsibility to make everyone happy
The problem with caring too much about what other people think, is that you become afraid to take chances, your comfort zone starts to shrink, and you start holding back in life.
‘Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.’ – Lao Tzu
So, I think my message is…
Focus on what inspires you, what makes you genuinely happy and sets your soul on fire. Pursue that. Work towards that. Caring less about what other people think or feel towards you does not mean you’re rude, it means that you are prioritising yourself and those things and people who mean the most to you. And, that is the most important thing.
Saying that, if you are struggling with this, here are my 2 biggest tips:
- Feel what you’re feeling. Give yourself the space and permission to feel whatever emotions arise. Name your feelings. Acknowledge them, without judging yourself, without beating yourself up, without saying, ‘I shouldn’t be feeling this way.’ There is no ‘right’ way to feel.
- Don’t fixate on reasons. When you get caught up on the ‘why’ and trying to find the perfect answer it stops you from moving forward and finding what you can control. You will never be able to get inside someones mind and see their true reasons for doing or saying what they do, so don’t try. Their judgement does not determine your worth.
‘Maturity is what happens when one learns to only give a fuck about what’s truly fuckworthy.’ – Mark Manson
Love E x