It is okay. I promise.
When was the last time you cried? And, I don’t mean a little sniffle and quick, apologetic tears. I mean, when did you last CRY (CRY… bold for emphasis)? Sobbing your heart out with snot flying everywhere is a rare occurrence for most of us (… I imagine). Do you EVER let yourself really wail?
Crying is something that genuinely terrifies me. To me, crying means I am letting down one of the (many) protective barriers I try my very best to hide behind. To me, crying is a sign of weakness, why am I unable to cope with life without breaking down into tears? To me, crying means feeling my emotions. Crying means I am no longer numb.
But, crying is something I have done a lot of in the past couple of weeks… Having lost 2 friends, within the space of a month, to anorexia has turned my world upside down. I have felt so desperately sad that 2 such beautiful souls have been taken from Earth way too prematurely, purely because they couldn’t see their own beautiful worth, and I have cried…
… I have mumbled incoherent things through my hands and choked on sobs,
… Involuntary whimpers have escaped my lips and tears have spilled down my face,
…I have fallen to the ground in a disheveled heap and grief has poured out of me in uncontrollable tears BUT, actually, I am also learning from these tears.
‘We need never be ashamed of our tears.’Charles Dickens
Sometimes words just won’t suffice. In some situations, there are no words, only emotions. Sometimes the only thing you can do is let the tears flow. I’m slowly learning that crying and being upset are not a signs of weakness – they are simply emotions like any other. They are natural human reactions to difficult situations. Every single human on this planet has cried at some point in their lives. Not only is that normal, but it’s completely okay. These difficult emotions deserve to be felt, and hard as it is to sit with them and experience them, it is important and healthy to do so. I mean, I wouldn’t suggest sitting there and crying all the time (doing that would be highly unproductive) but you get my gist.
Being strong means allowing yourself to be ‘weak’ every once in a while.
So here’s to my tears, thank you for reminding me to give my feelings permission to be as they are.
And, to anyone who feels ashamed, being upset is not a weakness. Crying is not a failure, it is one of the bravest things you can do. To anyone struggling, TALK. Be honest. Open up. Take the first step. Your struggle is valid. Your struggle is real.
‘Where there is life there is hope.’
Lis & Sarah, here’s to you.
I will always remember you both. Thank you for bringing me comfort on some of my most painful days. Thank you for giving me hope on my darkest days.